Catch Me
by Mrs.CaptainJackSparrow1234
Summary: She had so many words to say, but for once, she couldn't speak.


Takes place after the third book. Use your imagination and pretend there was some more down time at Ella's place in between that one and the fourth one, instead of them leaving at the very end. =) The song is Catch Me by Demi Lovato. Review?

**Catch me**

_Before I fall too fast  
Kiss me quick  
But make it last_

Nudge took a deep breath, closing her eyes and running a hand through her black hair. It wasn't supposed to be this hard for her to talk, was it? It had always come so easily before, like she could do it in her sleep. In fact, Max had often told her that she had. A small smile spread across her face at the thought, but a sudden voice pulled her out of her reverie.

"Yo, Nudge," Iggy said, waving his hand in front of her eyes. She blinked, snapping out of her daze. It was strange, how he always seemed to know where she was, even though he couldn't see her himself. She quickly righted herself and flashed him a grin that he seemed to sense, even with his sightless eyes.

"You okay?" He asked, and she nodded quickly, then spoke up.

"Yes, I'm fine," She chirped. "Just thinking." A wry grin spread across his face and he took a step past her, his shoulder brushing hers.

"Wow. Using your brain instead of your mouth for once. I'm impressed," He said. She spun around and glared at him, but the effect was lost as he turned around the corner. He was blind, though, not deaf.

"Iggy, you jerk!" She called after him, but the only response she got was muffled laughter from the next hallway. Her shoulder still seemed to tingle where he had brushed it, as if his touch alone could render her helpless. She quickly shook it off and ran downstairs, where the rest of the flock was already eating.

_So I can see how badly this will hurt me  
When you say good bye_

It'd only been a few weeks since they'd come back to Ella's house, and everyone still seemed to be tense and exhausted from the long battles they'd seen lately. Nudge in particular seemed unable to get out of her mind what it felt like to be separated from the rest of the flock for so long. She'd made the choice to stay with Max, but she still couldn't get out of her mind what it was like to be away from the rest of them for so long, wondering if she'd ever see them alive again. They lived with that risk everyday, yet something about it seemed so much more _real _when they were apart. Together, it seemed as though they could do anything. Separated, however, all she could do was worry about the others. Iggy in particular.

It wasn't that he was blind; that wasn't why she worried about him at all. He could cook breakfast better than Max could, and though that wasn't saying much, he could do so much more. She sometimes even forgot that he was blind, until he brought it up himself, no doubt to make some sort of sarcastic remark about something. She didn't know why she worried about him so much; they could all hold their own. But it was always him that was on her mind.

"Nudge!"

She jumped and looked around the table at the faces around her, each of them looking at her expectantly.

"What?" She asked, picking up her fork again.

"You barely touched your food, and you're not talking at all," The Gasman said, already reaching for seconds. "Are you sick or something?" He asked, filling up his plate with enough food for at least two people. The only thing that stopped him from taking more was Max's pointed glare.

"I'm fine," Nudge insisted, grinning and taking a big bite of the food Mrs. Martinez had made. "'Tis really good," She said around a mouthful, ignoring the look that Max was giving her. Was she really supposed to have table manners after eleven years of living off of scraps?

_Keep it sweet  
Keep it slow  
Let the future pass  
And don__'t let go_

_But tonight I __could fall too soon into this beautiful moonlight_

Iggy was the first to leave once dinner was over. He walked up the stairs with ease, as if he had lived here his entire life, and Nudge heard the soft click as his door closed a few minutes later. She excused herself after washing off her plate and retreated to the room she was sharing with Angel and Max for the time they were staying there. Max was outside, though, no doubt with Fang. Nudge envied her, in a way; she was so brave, and though she was an expert at hiding her feelings, Fang still returned them. Everyone else could see it, even if they couldn't.

So why couldn't she find the courage to talk to the person she liked? She was with him everyday; he was practically family. No, he _was _family. They all were. But why was it always him on her mind, then?

It was already dark out; the stars shone down brightly from the night sky, and she smiled slightly as she looked out the window of the bedroom she was staying in. Angel was downstairs watching a movie with Max and the others, as far as she knew; she had opted out, saying that she felt sick. It wasn't entirely a lie.

It was so beautiful outside, though. She wasn't thinking about much except that she wanted to be closer to the stars as she pulled the window open and took a deep breath of the night air. She longed to stretch her wings out and fly; if she left now and hurried back, chances were they would never know she was gone. It would give her a chance to clear her mind, at least, if that was even possible.

She climbed up onto the ledge and jumped. She was glad to be on the second floor for once; her tawny wings snapped out quickly, gathering the air and pulling her up sharply. She flinched, but the pain was good, like stretching out your legs after sitting for hours on end. She wanted to keep going, but she knew that eventually she would have to go back. She looked down at the woods passing by below her, and finally came to a running stop in the backyard of the Martinez house.

Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the familiar form sitting against the wall, sightless eyes staring out at the stars that she knew he couldn't see. Almost as soon as she saw him, he seemed to see her; he turned his head in her direction, and smiled.

"Hey, Nudge," He said simply. She smiled slightly, hesitating for a moment before walking over and taking a seat next to him.

"How'd you know it was me?" She asked, and he just shrugged.

"I could just sense your annoying vibes from miles away," He said, and she hit him lightly in the shoulder, scowling.

"Ow," He said simply, and she just rolled her eyes, staring forward again.

_But you're__ so hypnotizing  
You got me laughing while I sing  
You got me smiling in my sleep_

It seemed almost impossible to stay bad at him for too long, though; even while she was angry at him, she had to smile when he cracked one of his stupid jokes with the Gasman. There was just something about him that made her want to laugh; something about him that made her…happy. He seemed to feel his eyes on her, for her turned back in her direction.

"Why're you out here, anyways?" He asked, and she jumped. The corners of his lips turned up into a smirk of sorts, and she guessed that he had felt it. She quickly scooted farther away from him, ignoring the look of pointed surprise that he gave her.

"I wanted to stretch out my wings," She mumbled, pulling her knees up to her chest and looking out at the stars shining brightly above them. It was at times like these when she would normally start talking; around him, it always seemed to be something stupid, at least when they were alone. It took all of her willpower not to go off on how pretty the stars were, because she knew that he couldn't see them.

"What about you?" She finally asked quietly, and he just shrugged.

"Same reason," He said, turning his eyes back to the stars.

_And I can see this unraveling__  
And your love is where I'm falling  
But please don't catch me_

She'd seen so many sides of him over the years; she'd seen him laugh, making stupid jokes with his best friend. She'd seen him cry when they couldn't find his family, seen him smile when they did. She'd seen how broken and upset he was when they exploited him, and yet she had felt a sort of relief when he'd come back to them. She didn't feel complete without him; if she was away from any of them, she didn't feel like herself. She didn't think any of them did.

And when the flock had split up, it was his face that had come into her mind so many times. It was hard to keep secrets from a mind-reading six year old; she'd often seen the glances that Angel gave her whenever Iggy was around, but she'd ignored them for so long, and Angel never said anything about it to her directly. But she knew, just as Angel did, what was wrong with her.

It wasn't just a crush; she was in love with him.

He was like her brother, but he was also one of the few who could ever understand her. There weren't many people who were likely to understand what someone like her was going through; but they were all like her. That was why they were her family.

And yet she couldn't find the courage to speak up and tell him anything; they were all just family. She knew that that was how it was supposed to be, but Max and Fang were breaking that unspoken rule; so why not her?

"Iggy—" she began, but a voice from inside cut her off.

"Nudge! Iggy! Where are you?" It was Max's voice. Iggy was the first one up, and as he offered her his hand to help her up, she quickly turned her face away and stood up on her own. For once, she was glad that he couldn't see; the color that had rushed to her cheeks would have been visible even in the dark.

_See this heart  
Won__'t settle down  
Like a child running scared from a clown_

She seemed to ruin every opportunity that arose; her heart would start beating faster, her palms would begin to sweat, and she forgot how to speak. She, Nudge, forgot how to speak. He teased her about it, but even he seemed to be picking up on the fact that she wasn't quite herself by now, at least not around him. She didn't know how to be; it hadn't been like this before. She wanted to go back to what it had been like before, but at the same time she liked the way he made her feel, even if she ran away from it every chance she got.

Together with the entire flock, she still felt butterflies in her stomach when she flew too close to him, the way the tips of their wings would brush against each other. He never seemed to notice, but it sent shivers down her spine. When he turned his eyes towards her she quickly turned away, tilting the tips of her wings downward and flying lower to avoid his gaze, even though she knew he couldn't see her.

_I'm__ terrified of what you'll do  
My stomach screams just when I look at you_

His eyes seemed to follow her the rest of the day; even as she ate dinner that night around the table with everyone else, it seemed to her as if he was looking only at her, but not really seeing her. It made it hard to breathe; she felt like she was flying too high, unable to catch even a little bit of oxygen. When she finished eating she retreated back to her room quickly, feeling his eyes on her back as she went.

She closed the door behind her quickly, sinking down to the ground and letting out a long breath. She pulled her knees up to her chest, closing her eyes and resting her chin on top of her knees. She knew why she was so afraid around him, but she didn't know what to do about it. She couldn't tell him; even though she always tried to push it away, she knew that he didn't feel the same way for her. They were family, after all, and she was only eleven years old. What did she know about love? But the way she felt about him went beyond the feelings she should have for a brother. She was terrified of being too close to him; she loved him.

She shook her head quickly, pushing herself to her feet. She'd been mostly silent the past few days, passing it off as sickness, but he was the only one who seemed to see through it. Even thinking about him brought back all of the feelings she'd been having, and her cheeks turned red just as she heard a knock on the door behind her.

_I can't set my hopes too high  
'Cause__ every hello ends with a goodbye_

"Nudge?" The voice she heard calling out to her made her blush deepen, and she pulled open the door, looking at the boy standing in front of her.

"Hey," She said, stepping back to give him room to come in. Her hands were sweating and she quickly wiped her palms on her jeans, shutting the door behind him. "What's up?" She chirped, but her voice cracked. He turned to face her, folding his arms across his chest. His gaze seemed to see straight through her, without even looking at her at all. She swallowed quickly and leaned against the door.

"What's up? You tell me," He said, his eyes narrowing slightly. "You've been acting so weird the past few days. And I know it's not because you're sick, so don't even try it," He added quickly, and she quickly shut her mouth.

"It's nothing," She said quietly, turning her gaze down towards her bare feet, digging her toes into the soft carpet beneath her. He sighed, and she heard the soft creak as he sat down on her bed, facing the window.

"Why are you lying to me?" He asked, but his voice was softer. She bit her lip and hesitated before walking over and taking a seat next to him, but far enough away that they wouldn't touch.

_But you're __so hypnotizing  
You've got me laughing while I sing  
You've got me smiling in my sleep_

"I'm not lying," she protested, but her voice wasn't very strong. She could feel him reach out for her and she closed her eyes tightly, flinching. He quickly pulled his hand back, and she saw the hurt on his face as he stood up again.

"Why are you avoiding me, Nudge?" He asked quietly. "What did I do? I want to fix it," He whispered. "I feel like you're angry at me or something. You'll let everyone else near you but me. I don't understand."

Her eyes widened, and her hands gripped fistfuls of the bed sheets around her. No; it wasn't supposed to be like this. She ran away because she was scared, not of him, but of herself. She didn't want to say what she could feel had been on the tip of her tongue for weeks now. She was afraid that it would come spilling out in a torrent of words, and she wouldn't be able to take it back.

Thinking of him didn't bring only butterflies, though; it made her smile. He always made her want to smile. She wanted it to be like that again; she didn't want to be afraid of her own words. They were what made her _her. _If she lost them, she wouldn't be Nudge anymore. And he was taking them away without even realizing it.

_And I can see this unraveling__  
Your love is where I'm falling  
But please don't catch me_

No, she couldn't tell him. She couldn't ruin things between them. But wasn't that what she was already doing? The carefree relationship they'd had for years was slowly breaking, and it was all her fault. She bit down harder on her lip, ignoring the blood that ran into her mouth. The metallic taste was nothing new; they'd been in far too many battles for her to be afraid of blood.

He was still watching her, as if he were waiting for something. What was she supposed to say? She couldn't tell him anything, but he was waiting.

"Nudge," He said quietly. His face looked pained and she flinched, shrinking back farther on the bed, farther away from him. "Nudge, please."

And then she began to break.

_So now you see  
Why I'm scared  
I cant open up my heart without a care_

"Iggy, I'm sorry," She blurted out. She knew where this was going, but she couldn't make it stop now. Her cheeks were bright red, and somehow, she thought that he knew it. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to make you feel like I was mad at you. I'm not; really, I'm not," She said quickly. "It's just-I can't tell you what's really bothering me. It's nothing you did, really." Her words seemed to be coming out even faster than usual, which was saying something; it was hard to even understand her, but somehow he was able to.

"Nudge, please trust me," He said quietly. "We're family, aren't we?"

The wall she'd built up to keep herself safe was slowly cracking, and more words spilled out.

"I'm afraid," She blurted out, but she didn't stop there. "I'm afraid that someday one of you is going to die. I've always been afraid," She said quickly, but when he opened his mouth she cut him off. If she stopped now, she'd never finish. "But it was always you who I worried about the most, Iggy," she said quietly. "It's not because you're blind, "She added quickly, before he could think that it was. "It's just that-" Her hands clenched into tight fists at her sides, and she stared down at her feet. "It's just that it's always you," She whispered. She hated how her voice was cracking. "When you left us to go to your family, I felt like I was dying. I felt like I couldn't breathe," She said, still keeping her eyes down. "And when we split up…when Fang got so mad and you went with him and didn't stay with me…." She finally turned her eyes up again, feeling tears spilling down her cheeks. "I was so scared."

_But here I go  
It's what I feel  
And __for the first time in my life I know its real_

He looked like he wanted to say something, but she wouldn't let him; she continued, knowing that there was no turning back now. She couldn't keep going like this, with one foot off the ledge and the other still standing. She had to jump, or she'd forever be stuck in between.

"I'm always afraid for you, Iggy," She continued quietly, turning her eyes down again. Her voice was thick and heavy as she tried to mask her tears, yet she knew that she couldn't hide anything from him. He saw her far too well. "Whenever I'm not with you it's always you I'm thinking about. I could never understand why," She whispered.

She knew that she had to make a choice; she had to tell him. She had to say something. Her stomach felt light, and her eyes were far from dry, but she knew that she didn't have a choice anymore. She had to.

_But you're so hypnotizing  
You've got me laughing while I sing  
You've get me smiling in my sleep_

He'd always been the one to make her laugh; he was the one who cracked the stupid jokes that made Max roll her eyes, but the Gasman roar in laughter. He was the one who was always there, whenever she turned around and needed someone to cheer her up. Everyone thought of her as always being happy, but he was the one who had come to her now, knowing that something was wrong. He was the one who saw her.

She closed her eyes tightly, and heard him moving closer. Her breath caught in her throat and she didn't know what to do. Every time she looked at him, she froze; his gaze captivated her. He saw her better than everyone else, although he was the one who couldn't see anything at all. She could feel him standing in front of her now; could see his worn out old shoes on the ground in front of her, but she still wouldn't look up.

_And I__ can see this unraveling  
And your love is where I'm falling  
So please don't catch me_

And yet she was still afraid. She was afraid to take that last step and find out what was waiting for her at the bottom. Would he be waiting to catch her, or would she fall? She felt her tears continue to fall, hitting the ground in silence. But he seemed to hear them; he reached out a hand and turned her face up towards his, her tears running over his fingertips. He looked pained as he wiped them away with his thumb. She couldn't breathe.

She was terrified of what she would find at the bottom of that cliff, but she was even more terrified of never knowing.

_And if this is love  
Please don't break me_

She didn't want to be broken, but she didn't want to spend forever wondering. She wanted to be able to look him in the eyes again without feeling so scared.

"Iggy, I-" His hand had fallen back to his side, but he was still standing right in front of her. She took a deep, shaky breath, feeling her hands shaking at her sides. _'Please,'_ she thought, willing him to hear her thoughts, to realize what she had to say before she even said it, like he always seemed to do before. _'Please, don't look at me like that. Please. I have to tell you.'_

"Iggy," She said again quietly, and yet he was still silent. _'Say something,'_ She urged him silently, but he was still waiting. She wondered how long he would be able to just stand there without leaving, without getting angry at her and yelling. She hated the silence, but at the same time her words scared her.

She didn't want to be scared anymore. She was sick of waiting around in fear, knowing that nothing could ever change until she made it change. She wanted to see what was waiting for her at the bottom of the jump.

She took that final step off the cliff, and began to fall.

_I'm giving up_

"Iggy."

_So just catch me_

"I love you."


End file.
